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“Oh, your so lucky to be having a c-section”

“Oh your so lucky to be having a c-section” Urm excuse me? I was actually shocked the first time someone said this to me. I had just found out that our baby was breech and that a c-section was probably going to be the only option for us. Naturally as you walk around work your colleagues ask how you are getting on and have you got long to go? I was honest and told them I was probably going to have a c-section now, and I couldn’t believe how many people said to me ‘Oh you are so lucky, I went through hours of labour and it was awful, least it would be nice and quick”. Gulp! I was taken aback the first time and didn’t really know what to say.

Am I being over sensitive? Or am I stressing too much about a c-section? Maybe it is the easy route out? I am by no means saying that a natural labour is easy and yes hours of labour for woman must be so hard, but why does that mean a c-section is the easier solution?

I started to feel myself getting more and more defensive when people responded in this way. Do they not realise this is major surgery and I’ll have to be careful for weeks afterwards? Don’t they realise I’m terrified of being cut open AWAKE in a theatre room? Do they not realise that by having a c-section it has shattered my dreams of having a natural birth I had always wanted?

A few weeks before our planned c-section date my partner and I were doing everything possible at home to try and move this baby around (this is something I go into more detail in my Naughty Breech Baby blog if you want to know more https://foryoumummas.com/naughty-breech-baby-where-it-all-began/) and we were convinced at the last minute our baby would move into the right position for a natural birth.

Well, that didn’t happen so our last option was to try an ECV (this is a procedure when a trained doctor applies pressure on your abdomen to try and help your baby turn or somersault in the womb to face head down).

When my friends, family or colleagues found out I was going to try the ECV as my last option I just couldn’t believe how casual they were about it! It was like ah well you might as well give it a go. Yes I might as well, yano doesn’t matter if not! It did matter and again I just felt like so many people didn’t see an ECV as a big deal. When actually an ECV can be really distressing for mum and baby and in our case, it was!

Even after having my c-section, I was still getting so many people saying “oh at least you were in and out the hospital quickly and knew what was happening.” Yes, they were right, but I would never dream of saying that to someone who had just had major surgery and could barely walk. It just made me feel like a failure that I hadn’t gone through a “real” birth and I actually felt pretty down about it all.

Looking back now I’m almost annoyed at myself, why did I let them make me feel like that? Why didn’t I speak up a bit more? Or why didn’t I just ignore it? Was this a rookie mistake on my behalf for not speaking up or theirs? 

(2) Comments

  1. Bethany says:

    You honestly do not understand how many women this blog is going to help!
    I ended up with an emergency csection under general anaesthetic due to threat to life, baby to be delivered within 20minutes. I hadn’t had a single contraction and going from being pregnant to be handed a baby, that transition alone has been difficult, to feeling that I got the easy birth. Why did I feel like this, because it is what society tells us! What society dont tell us is what happens and the recovery after a csection, you just think when it comes to your birth plan, a csection is worse case scenario and you never think it will happen to you.
    I can tell you now, 10 weeks later and I’m only now just being able to do what I should have been able to do with my son after giving birth if I had a normal birth. What’s a normal birth? That’s a vagina delivery according to society. I have no idea what birth is like, never had a contraction, never saw my baby being born and a partner/dad who met their son!
    No birth is easy but society is wrong to have this judgement that csection deliveries are easy! The birth might have been easy but the recovery is horrendous!
    The only thing that has kept me going and my response to those that think we had it easy, is my son going to worry about how he was born?! The only importance is both myself and my son are here today because if I didn’t have that csection, we could have just been two numbers on a piece of paper.

    Your little girl is thriving, were in no competition in life, keep smiling Mumma!

    1. Thank you sooo much for commenting! It’s so lovely to hear everyone else’s opinions on topics like these! I’m so sorry to hear that you had to have an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic, that must have been so scary for you. I absolutely agree that no birth is easy and anyone who comments to say either option is “easy” really needs to think again before speaking.
      I’m not by any means saying my c-section experience was horrible because it was actually so calm and I was “lucky” you might say in that sense and yes I would have a c-section again, but it doesn’t mean it was a walk in the park and I was back on my feet after a day, quite the opposite in fact.

      We got this mummas xxx

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