“Oh your so lucky to be having a c-section” Urm excuse me? I was actually shocked the first time someone said this to me. I had just found out that our baby was breech and that a c-section was probably going to be the only option for us. Naturally as you walk around work your colleagues ask how you are getting on and have you got long to go? I was honest and told them I was probably going to have a c-section now, and I couldn’t believe how many people said to me ‘Oh you are so lucky, I went through hours of labour and it was awful, least it would be nice and quick”. Gulp! I was taken aback the first time and didn’t really know what to say.
Am I being over sensitive? Or am I stressing too much about a c-section? Maybe it is the easy route out? I am by no means saying that a natural labour is easy and yes hours of labour for woman must be so hard, but why does that mean a c-section is the easier solution?
I started to feel myself getting more and more defensive when people responded in this way. Do they not realise this is major surgery and I’ll have to be careful for weeks afterwards? Don’t they realise I’m terrified of being cut open AWAKE in a theatre room? Do they not realise that by having a c-section it has shattered my dreams of having a natural birth I had always wanted?
A few weeks before our planned c-section date my partner and I were doing everything possible at home to try and move this baby around (this is something I go into more detail in my Naughty Breech Baby blog if you want to know more https://foryoumummas.com/naughty-breech-baby-where-it-all-began/) and we were convinced at the last minute our baby would move into the right position for a natural birth.
Well, that didn’t happen so our last option was to try an ECV (this is a procedure when a trained doctor applies pressure on your abdomen to try and help your baby turn or somersault in the womb to face head down).
When my friends, family or colleagues found out I was going to try the ECV as my last option I just couldn’t believe how casual they were about it! It was like ah well you might as well give it a go. Yes I might as well, yano doesn’t matter if not! It did matter and again I just felt like so many people didn’t see an ECV as a big deal. When actually an ECV can be really distressing for mum and baby and in our case, it was!
Even after having my c-section, I was still getting so many people saying “oh at least you were in and out the hospital quickly and knew what was happening.” Yes, they were right, but I would never dream of saying that to someone who had just had major surgery and could barely walk. It just made me feel like a failure that I hadn’t gone through a “real” birth and I actually felt pretty down about it all.
Looking back now I’m almost annoyed at myself, why did I let them make me feel like that? Why didn’t I speak up a bit more? Or why didn’t I just ignore it? Was this a rookie mistake on my behalf for not speaking up or theirs?