Tips Topics/Discussions

Don’t try to sugar-coat it

I was speaking to a friend recently who was saying she really feels there are so many mums out there who sugar coat motherhood and are never completely honest about their mummy journey. Being a first time mum I get why so many mums probably do this, why would you want anyone to know you’re finding it hard? Especially when all we see on social media is Mums portraying their ‘perfect’ baby, thriving at motherhood, taking everything in their stride and making exotic fruit bowls for their babies breakfast at 6am. But is it really all as it seems? I’d hazard a guess and say I don’t think so. 

I’m not saying that these mums are lying at all, I personally have loved motherhood and feel so lucky every single day to have Ella in my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I don’t want to do this or where I just sit in the bathroom on my own and have a little cry. I have days where Ella is teething, biting me, whinging all day, spitting out food, refusing milk and then waking all night long, those days are hard, some of the hardest I’ve ever had in my life, but I still bloody love her!

I can’t stress enough how much it’s helped speaking to other mums going through the same thing as me, especially as a first time Mum. Let’s be honest, who wants to hear that their baby has been sleeping through the night from day one, crawling at 6 months, walking by 8 and eats Spaghetti Bolognese with a knife and fork at 10 months, no one! You want to hear about the sleepless nights, the worries that your baby isn’t developing, the struggles of keeping your baby stimulated and feeling the pressures of being a ‘perfect’ Mum. I’m not saying I enjoy hearing other mums struggling because who would?

The way I think about it is that these struggles are really just the natural things any mum goes through, they’re real stories of what we’ll all experience with our babies. So why wouldn’t I talk about those nightmare days and listen to others who need to get how they’re feeling off their chest? It’s giving each other that support sometimes that let’s you know it’s not only you feeling like this.

Without my fellow Mummas I don’t know how I’d be feeling right now, we’ve laughed, cried and shared this journey together. The bond I have built with these Mums is something that will never be broken and they’ll be friends for life (you know who you are baby Mummas). This doesn’t mean we only speak about the bad times, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t love to shout about an amazing night sleep they got or share that their baby has taken to weaning like a pro, but sharing the little day to day strains actually helps the most sometimes.

So today I really want to spark up conversation and hear all of your stories, good or bad! If any of the above sounds familiar to you, share it in the comments, if you want to talk about a time that you particularly found hard, get it off your chest. Maybe you have some questions you want to ask me or other mums or you just want to have a rant about your other half not pulling his/her weight, then we’re all ears! I want to hear what YOU have to say.

For You Mummas x 

(2) Comments

  1. Jess says:

    I may be in the minority but I don’t enjoy being a mum! It doesn’t come naturally to me at all. I struggle every day to be a mum to my girls. Of course they are happy, healthy, clean and fed but it doesn’t mean I don’t struggle to do those things. I wish parents were more honest xx

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this, that’s so brave of you. I know for a fact your an amazing mum, but like you say it doesn’t mean you necessarily enjoy it! Do you have any tips for other mums feeling the same way?

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